swimming in a flood of champagne and heartache
by kinselllas
Summary: Dan narrows his eyes at her, not sure when he stopped writing sonnets about flighty, whirlwind blondes and started writing them about snarky brunettes who only call him by his last name.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **_I have no idea what this is or how to explain it. It's very messy and a result of imminent boredom. May or may not continue, we shall see. :) Takes place somewhere after season 2 ends but somehow everyone is getting along._

_**Disclaimer: **_**don't own any of these characters and what not. **

It all starts one night.

Actually, he's not completely sure how it starts.

They are all incredibly drunk, sitting in a circle on the floor of Blair's bedroom.

Somehow graduation has forced them to put all of their differences aside and be friends (substitute _friends _for a synonym that is much more mild.)

Dan finds it hilarious how much they love each other when two bottles of French champagne and three shots of tequila (each) are swishing around in their stomachs.

Spin the bottle is Serena's idea, which comes as no surprise to anyone.

Why is Jenny here? The question crosses Dan's mind, but he chooses to ignore it.

His sister is almost as drunk as he is. Humphreys have never been known to hold their liquor well.

"Little Humphrey, you first!" Blair squeals, clapping her hands excitedly.

He notices things he hadn't noticed about her before.

She looks really good in maroon. (_or crimson, to be politically correct._)

The frosty pink gloss on her lips matches the pearl shade of nail polish adorning her delicate fingers.

Her hair has gotten significantly lighter, and longer, since the first time he saw her two years ago- _on thanksgiving._

She's been damaged since then, worn down and scarred by guys who have never really known her at all.

Watching her exhale a huge puff of smoke above her head, he doesn't think he's ever seen her so care-free, _alive. _

Jenny spins the bottle and everyone is suddenly silent with anticipation. Before he knows it, a joint is poised at his lips and Dan takes it gratefully.

Lonely boy isn't so lonely anymore.

The Insider is finally inside.

Jenny and Kati Farkas are making out in front of him but he's too stoned and drunk to care. His eyes have already glassed over and a fuzziness is traveling throughout his entire body.

Blair's bloodshot brown eyes meet his with a daring smirk as she gives the bottle a twirl.

He doesn't know how it happens really. Blair Waldorf is crawling across the circle to crush her lips into his. He grasps a handful of chestnut curls and kisses her back, roughly, without reason. Her teeth clamp down on his bottom lip and Dan lets out a groan as she pulls away from him, grinning with satisfaction.

No one cares. Nate isn't beating him to the ground. Chuck is just laughing a very baked laugh that Dan has grown to appreciate from him.

He never wanted to be a part of this world.

He thought he was better than this, better than _them._

Now he's in the queen's chambers. Maybe it's where he's always belonged.

No one is tearing him down or ripping apart his wardrobe.

He is one of _them. _Whatever that means.

A very small, miniscule, insignificant part of him might even feel honored.

Serena and Chuck have collapsed onto his leg, making out as though no one else is in the room. Dan didn't see that one coming. They were brother and sister at one point this year.

He can't figure out why he isn't more disturbed.

Dan looks to Blair for a reaction, but she's laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

Giggles pour out of her mouth and it's all he can do to crawl on hands and knees, collapsing as soon as he's next to her body.

"You seem happy." He smiles at her, although his eyes are hazy and about to close.

Blair turns onto her side to face him. Her eyes are still stained red with intoxication but he's never been more attracted to her. She lets her fingers rest on his chin as her lips curl into a gentle grin.

"When did you get so beautiful, Humphrey?"

Dan narrows his eyes at her, not sure when he stopped writing sonnets about flighty, whirlwind blondes and started writing them about snarky brunettes who only call him by his last name.

"I want to kiss you again." He says softly, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Too bad."

With that, she closes her eyes and lets out a soft moan. When Dan turns around, he realizes everyone else has left the room, probably roaming the penthouse for more alcohol.

He should be the knight in shining armor. He should really carry her to bed and find a nice couch to pass out on, but he can't muster the strength to move.

Instead, he brushes a few strands of hair out of her face and presses his lips against her temple.

"When did you get so beautiful, Waldorf?"

Dan lets out one more deep sigh before falling asleep next to the girl who makes his life absolutely and miserably perfect in the very worst way possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. This installment is a bit darker than the first, but I hope it is still appreciated by some. Please let me know what you think! (:_

"Blair."

The moment she hears her name, she becomes filled with shame, disgust, regret.

He's not supposed to see her like this.

Acid incinerates her throat as the vomit comes up again and hurls itself into the toilet bowl.

He's not supposed to see this side.

Before she knows what's happening, he's on the floor next to her. His hands pull her hair back gently and he slightly leans against her.

He wants it to stop, she can tell.

But she can't. She can't stop. It just keeps coming, and it hurts, but it's a pain that relieves her burning chest.

Serena is with Nate. Serena is with the one guy who ever made Blair feel like she was good enough. Unlike Chuck, who makes her feel as though she's inferior to everyone.

She didn't want Nate anymore, she should be happy for her friend.

She's not.

Serena's life is perfect, once again. Meanwhile, Blair's crumpled up on the floor of her bathroom expunging any toxins in her body that may stop her from achieving the same level of perfection.

Dan Humphrey sits behind her. He strokes her back and tells her it's okay and when there's nothing left she lets her body fall limp in his arms.

He squeezes tightly, until she feels as though she might suffocate. Chuck makes her feel that way too. He traps her until she can't breathe, until the life is completely sucked out of her.

This is different. This feels like protection. He presses a gentle kiss to her forehead and uses his thumb to wipe away the black smears underneath her eyes.

She wonders if he's ashamed of her right now.

Everything with Serena is easier. She's confident, free-spirited, beautiful- basically sunshine distilled into a person.

They both lost the people they love. The people who didn't always treat them right, but hell, they just wanted to be treated at all.

Dan lifts her up off the floor and carries her to the gold silk sheets of her bed.

Part of her doesn't want him to let go, and when he does, she feels an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

"Don't leave." Her voice is hoarse and weak and really doesn't sound like her at all, but he turns around and smiles.

"What made you think I was leaving? You can't get rid of me that easily, Waldorf."

His smile makes her smile which is kind of annoying, but she should be grateful that she's smiling at all.

Dan returns with a cup of tea and toast with apricot preserves on it.

She doesn't tell him that apricot preserves are her least favorite.

Chew, swallow. Chew, swallow. Sip. Chew, swallow. Chew, swallow. Sip.

Blair follows this pattern until the toast is gone, resisting the urge to excuse herself to the bathroom and expunge this little amount of sustenance in her body.

"_An Affair to Remember _or _Yours, Mine, and Ours?_' Dan holds up the DVD cases with a slight eye brow raise.

"Is that even a serious question?"

Dan laughs as he pops _An Affair to Remember _into the DVD player.

Her chest still aches from the lurching so as soon as he sits on the bed, she grabs him by the shirt and pulls him close to her body. His warmth is overwhelming and she only wants to be closer.

"Shhhh, I'm here."

He can feel her hands trembling under his own and gently rubs his thumb over her bony knuckles.

When did he start taking care of her, and when did she start letting him?

It's frightening, being vulnerable around someone. Letting someone see the weak, helpless side of her. No one gets to see that side. Not Serena, not Nate, and definitely not Chuck.

"Why do you…" he trails off softly, letting his arm cradle around her tiny waist. "Why do you do it?"

It takes her awhile to think of a reasonable answer to his question, one that he might actually be able to understand. All she can come up with is,

"I need to."

In reality, it has become out of her control. At the annual Archibald Marigold banquet she found herself throwing up in a secluded fern without even placing a finger near her mouth.

She feels diseased, sick out of her mind.

Dan pushes a few strands of hair behind her ear and forces her eyes to look up at him.

"You don't." He presses his forehead against her own with serious determination. "You're perfect."

Blair can feel her eyes welling up with tears and quickly squeezes them shut before he has the chance to see her cry again.

She presses her face into his shirt without another word.

"When did you get so beautiful, Waldorf?"

Blair smiles to herself and mumbles a "Shut up, Humphrey." before drifting off to sleep with Cary Grant's voice humming in the background.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_I forgot how much I like writing for this story! I'd written this chapter when I first started the story, but couldn't get it right so I just left it alone for awhile. I know there's no real plot to this story, so I won't even bother trying to explain it- just a connection between two people who never thought they would have a connection! Hope you all like it. I know it's short, but that's just how I've been writing this once since the beginning. I'm still working on the next chapter for 'arguable chemistry' along with a new Dair fic that I'm considering posting in the next few days! _

She doesn't let him kiss her again.

It's torturous, really.

The way she'll poise her lips gracefully in front of his face, then pull away as soon as he leans in.

"Stop doing that," his hand moves to rest gently on her waist and surprisingly she doesn't smack him away.

"Doing what?" She tips her head to the side innocently.

He hates her. How is it possible for someone to be so infuriating and yet so irresistible at the same time? This question haunts him every time he stares into her deep brown eyes. She's toxic, some sort of chemical that has found it's way into his bloodstream.

They stroll through Central Park in silence for awhile.

He doesn't talk about Serena.

She doesn't talk about Nate…or Chuck.

Her tiny frame, her tan skin, her yellow sundress, it all brings an idiotic smile to his face. He grabs for her hand, but she only hooks a single finger with one of his.

They don't talk about Yale, and they don't talk about NYU.

"What do you want to do when you get older, Dan?"

It's such an innocent question, but a question that they've never talked about.

"I want to write."

She's smiling to herself at his answer, and he finds himself smiling back.

"You think you'll be successful? I'd marry you for your money in a minute."

Dan knows it's a quote. He struggles for a few silent minutes before realizing it's Breakfast at Tiffany's.

"Would you marry me for my money?" Blair stops walking and moves in closer to him, her eyes lingering delicately on his lips.

"In a minute." He says quietly as his eyes flicker to her mouth.

The way her body just barely brushes against his causes him to swallow as he tries to form any worthy train of thought.

"I suppose we-" he fumbles to remember the line, "I suppose it's good that-"

And then she's kissing him. Her tongue slides along his lower lip and he lets out a groan, pulling her tightly against him. Blair gasps into his mouth as he stumbles them against a tree roughly.

With her tiny fists yanking at his shirt, he can't help but imagine this scene in a more appropriate setting. His bedroom wall, perhaps. Then again, he's never had sex outside…

Then again, it's only two o'clock in the afternoon.

Finally, she pulls away from him to let her fingers rest gently on his cheek.

"I like you," she says softly, somewhat thoughtfully, "much more than I thought I would."

His hand reaches up to press hers against his face and savors her touch, "Back at you, Waldorf."

_She's beautiful, really._

It kind of annoys him how much he thinks about her these days, how much he wants to be around her. He doesn't like to dwell on it too long.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, already knowing her answer.

She just shakes her head, but he knows she hasn't eaten today so he attempts a new approach- _one that has been working nicely since he found her on the floor of her bathroom, ashamed._

"Well, I am. So you can watch me eat, just keep your hands off my fries."

A smile forms at Blair's lips, "Deal."

She eats seven fries and steals two bites of his grilled cheese. He figures it's better than nothing.

"I'm only eating this," she starts, holding the fry in his face, "because I don't want you to become a hippo. I wouldn't be able to make out with you again."

"But as of now," Dan drops his head to hide the grin on his face, "you want to make out with me again."

"Shut up."

They stay there for a few hours until only a couple people drift in and out of the cafe.

In that time, she moves to his side of the booth, her legs resting on his lap, his hand tangled in her hair, and their mouths gently caressing each other's through mumbles of insults and affections until they're asked to leave.


End file.
